Friday, February 10, 2012

Where Do I Begin?

Hey guys. Sorry for the huge absence as of late. I'm just trying to get certain things on track right now. For instance, I got a new job!! I know a few weeks back I said I got a new job, but this is a new one! I will be working at a hospital in the medical records department, which is what I used to do before I resigned at my old company. I am incredibly excited. Life has been so busy since my interview a week ago. I get so stressed out when I go for an interview and I always seem to mess them up. I think it's nerves. So I had my interview and was on pins and needles. This was something I needed so bad right now and it came at the perfect time, but I was so worried I was going to mess it up and miss a wonderful opportunity. But I got lucky and got hired the same day as my interview (when does that ever happen anymore, I'm so grateful!!).

I was making good money at my prior job but decided to quit because I couldn't move up anymore and essentially wasn't happy with the company. I liked what I did but the company was so ass backwards and I didn't want to be associated with a place that only cared about money and not their patients. But anyways, I had a few months off and worked at my old job at the grocery store. I finally just got comfortable, even with having literally no money to spare, and I got this call for a job I applied to back in December. I was (and still am) so stoked that something so great was in store for me! I'm really excited, but I can't help but to feel sad about changing my life around. I'm not a fan of change. I seem to always take it hard, no matter if it's good or bad. I wish I wasn't like this!

Since my interview, I had to take a drug test (totally freaked me out, never took one before. I knew I had nothing to worry about, but man, it so makes you feel like a criminal), and I had to take a TB test. I hate hate hate needles. I would panic when I was a kid when I had to go get shots. This time it actually wasn't that bad (thanks to my cats for scratching me pretty bad with their nails I got used to pain haha). I passed that and all seems like smooth sailing from here on out. I can't wait to get back to my old job at a new company where their views are very much the same as mine. I can't wait to work with the people I used to work with (I used to work there and got transferred not long after I was there to a new location) and get back into a good routine. It'll be really nice to have money again and to be able to afford the things life throws at you.

But here's my problem. I'm not good with money. At all. Both my parent's aren't good with it and I guess I followed suit. The first time I had this job, I said I was going to do all this stuff with the money (buy a car, which I did, pay off my loans - still doing that, travel, save save save and so on) and I really can't tell you where it all went. I managed it so poorly and never saved a dime. Well, I take that back, I did save some money to visit my boyfriend (at the time) who lived in CO, but we broke up and I used it for a new camera instead. I wish I would have kept saving it, but what can you do. So since quitting that job, I went to having a good chunk of money a month to maybe a couple hundred, if that. Yeah, totally not easy when you have rent and a car payment and student loans. I think God is finally giving me an opportunity to reinstate my good intentions and put them into reality. Which I am intending to do FOR REAL this time. Needs come first, wants come later. This is going to be a huge step for me and something I know I HAVE to do. No questions asked. In church, we've been learning how to manage our finances, and this is shedding a whole new perspective for me. I don't think this job could have came at a better time. But I tell you, making no money really helps you not to spend a dime. I really liked that actually. I didn't have to think about anything and I knew where my money was going, without having the temptation to spend it. I'm just scared that I will not be able to handle myself this time around. But I am determined and damn willing to do what I need to do to save towards my future. I am responsible, but I need to be MORE responsible. At this point, it's just me, myself and I, and I have to support myself and that's what I intend to do!

Wow, this post hit a lot of topics. What I really came here to say is that I'm hoping my mini hiatus will be done rather soon, it's just that life is quite busy and I have to make sure I am keeping all my beans in one basket. I just hope you guys understand! I also need to buy a ton of supplies for my shop and will be doing that soon after I get paid. I'm thinking about changing some things up with my shop because I'm not happy with some of the formulas and packaging. But that's a different story for a different day! Well I suppose it's off to bed for me, tomorrow is my last day (sort of) at my grocery job, so sleep awaits! If you read through this whole thing, you are a serious trooper and I will love you forever, haha :o) Sorry if this didn't make much sense, I'm tired out of my mind...


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